Sunday, July 03, 2005

May the Record Reflect

That I am sad. I am not a person normally given to ridiculous displays of emotion. I'm a pretty straight-forward, tell it like it is kind of person. However, today, I find myself sitting in my apartment being sad. I went to a baseball game today, my team won, and yet I am still sad. I have a disaffection for just about everything right now. It's a holiday weekend and I have no plans. My friend all have plans, my family all has plans, but I have none. I am sitting in my apartment like a loser not doing anything.

I just want to cry and I can't give a reason for it. In fact, I am crying. I hate crying. yet here I sit crying. What is wrong with me?

I have a great job, except when I get there I just want to sit at my desk and cry.
I have friends, yet they all have plans this weekend that don't include me.
I have a great apartment, but I hate it. And there're ants.
I have a huge family, but one member of it hates me to the point where I can't be with them and have fun anymore.

I just don't get it. I'm shutting myself off from the world. Maybe that will help. No relationships means no hurt right? If I don't talk to them they can't hurt me.

In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. - Laurence J. Peter

3 comments:

WaAngel said...

oh sweetie... i know how you feel. it seems like everything in the world is okay and that you have no reason at all to be sad but you know what?! sometimes, there doesn't need to be a reason. if you need to vent, or talk, or anything, just email me. wamarineangel@gmail.com

Toni said...

I could tell something was going on when I talked to you earlier...I hope you realize that you have people in your life that care deeply for you (me being one of them) and that it is okay to cry sometimes. Sometimes we need to cry for no reason, God knows I do! Even if you aren't a "crier" If you ever need to talk...I'm here, I hope you know that.

And you aren't a loser for not doing anything on a "holiday" weekend (it's not like it's Christmas), I'm not doing anything either!

WaAngel said...

you are NOT older than dirt.