How do you tell someone that you don't want to be friends with them anymore? How do you let them know that the things they say are hurtful, and the way they treat others is abominable? How do you say:
"I don't like you, you're no fun, you're not as important to me as you think you are, and I don't need your approval for anything in my life, and in general everytime you open your mouth I want to rip your vocal chords out with a spork, and I kind of wish you would move to france."
Without really offending them? I'm just wondering. Because there is someone in my life who has started to drain me. The relationship has been becoming wearing over the past year or so, and now, I just don't have the energy to deal with it anymore. I no longer care about this person on any level other than surfce level, and I jsut want it to end. I'm tired of giving and never taking. I'm tired of reassuring this persons psyche, when, really, they aren't that important to me any longer.
On that note, I'm going mattress shopping. Yay! A new bed!
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9 comments:
I hope you were asking seriously because my response is going to be serious. I know *exactly* how you feel about this. I've had a few friendships where this has become the case and it's been both me and another person who've felt this way. When it's been me, I've found that a situation usually presents itself and drops the opportunity to bring it up right on your lap. It doesn't sound like you're really upset with this person, just indifferent, so be diplomatic. Say 'You know, it just seems like we're always ... Our friendship isn't what it used to be.' The funny thing is that I've done this twice and with both friends, after a period of 1-2 years, we ended up reconciling (if you can call it that) and now have strong and happy friendships. In the times when I've been the dumpee, once was diplomatically done (by a woman) and one sent me a nasty 'I don't want to be your friend' email on my birthday (a man.) Seems woman can deal with this stuff much better. You know, you'll feel a lot better once you've said something.
And why France? Was tht some kind of slag?
i was absolutely serious, Carly, so thank you for the serious answer. granted i have some facetiousness in the middle there, but i am 100% serious.
i am a bit upset with this person, because he/she never takes my feelings into account when he/she speaks. it's always off the cuff with little or no thought. i'mnot indifferent.
and, no, nothing against france, just the first foreign country that came to mind. nothign against the french. it's just far away, and not somewhere i'm planning on visiting anytime soon.
Deleted a comment that was poorly worded and somewhat rude in tone.
Just tell water girl not to F@$$#ing talk to you anymore. Thats what I did and it felt great. Unless you are talking about me then we should talk.
Seriously I know that it is a hard place to be in I had to tune a large chunk of my friends out because they were still doing stuff that I just couldn't be around anymore and the methods to seperate myself from them varied based on how close we were from letters to ignoring to heart to heart chat...sincerly let me know if you need anything.
lol, thanks bri, thankfully, she hsan't called me! Oh the horror! I was afraid I was going to have to get a new phone number!
and thanks for the sincerity, I'll keep you in mind.
*sigh*
I'm very bad at keeping in touch with friends. This explains why I don't know what's going on with any of my high school or college friends. Of course, the friends I don't like are the ones who constantly call/email/IM me. I generally tend to just kind of drift away from friendships.
Wow. That's all great advice. I hope it's helped you out, Dawn.
You are right. I never thought about it this way. Breaking up with a friend is way harder than breaking up with a boyfriend.
I'm confused.
If you're not interested in pursuing a friendship with this person then why are you worried about hurting their feelings?
I'm going through problems at the moment where my boyfriend is still talking to his ex because he "doesn't want to hurt her feelings" and I can't help but think "hello, she's your ex for a reason why do you care about her feelings?"
If you honestly couldn't give a shit about this person, just tell them not to call, contact you and don't lose any sleep over hurting the feelings of someone you don't care about.
It sounds like you still care if you keep going on about it. You know?
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