School starts today. As of 5:30pm this evening I will once again be a student. I have my books, my day planner, my notebook, a pencil, a pen, highlighters, all in all, I should be set.Right?
I'm not. I panicked last night and cried myself to sleep. (poor Nick had to cheer me up on the phone) . I'm leaving the field I currently work in, to go back to a field I failed at the first time. Should I be doing this? I don't want to waste 60,000 dollars if it isn't the right thing to be doing.
Last week, when I saw all the kids standing at the bus stop on Tuesday morning to head back to school, I was sad that I wasn't already at school getting my classroom ready and waiting to meet the 30 faces that would be my students for the year. This is a good sign, right? What if my decision, in the middle of the application process, to change masters degree programs was based solely on my bizzare love of school supplies? What if it's nothing more than an excuse to spend oodles of money at office max and michaels every fall?
What if it's the right decision but I graduate and I can't get a job? A first year teacher with a Masters Degree? Who the heck is going to hire that on a school district budget? I'm going to be taking a pay cut as it is, is this a wise move? quadrupling my current student debt in order to take a pay cut?
What if the other kids don't like me?
Somebody talk me out of this!
In other news, my Goddaughter, Samantha, started kindergarten last Wednesday. Here are the pics.
11 comments:
You are preaching to the choir.
I wake up every morning wondering if that will be the day I realize there is no way I can care enough about these kids to want to become a low-paid teacher.
But when I enter the classroom I "know." I know that I care and that I will make a good teacher. It takes being immersed in it to realize what a great decision it is. Even learning how to discipline, deal with crabby students, and grade tests seems worthwhile when I think of the greater good. So think of that--the numerous lives you will touch is worth more than $60,000 if you love it.
And I am darn excited to spend money at Michaels every fall!
*steps off teacher soapbox* (sometimes I get up there just to make sure this is what I still want--you might have to do this for me in a few weeks!)
i've done it. i've been immersed in it.
You're miserable at your current job. You're ready to do something different. If teaching is something that makes you truly happy, go for it. Don't worry about finding a job. I'm sure you'll have no problem.
Something else for you...
"Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy."
- Robert Anthony
Just do it.
If it didn't scare you just a little bit, it probably wouldn't be the right decision.
This is the pot calling the kettle black, but: Stop worrying! Change is good! and my personal favorite, it's only scary the first time.
Some people spend their whole lives wondering who they are and never do anything about it. Some people spend their whole lives trying to find it, but at least they try.
I love school supplies too! Is there anything better than 10 cent notebooks and pencils?! *sigh*
p.s. love the new layout.
Love the new look Dawn.
I hope that day two finds you a little less stressed. I think it's great what you're doing and I know you'll be great with whatever happens. You know that too.
Thanks on the layout sarah and carly. The first night of class wasn't so bad. I start my other class tonight, and we're supposed to have class on saturday, but I've had plans to be in Chicago since january/february, so hopefully me not being there on saturday will go over well.
You're going to Chicago???
You'll do wonderfully! And stop worrying :)
And I can't believe Samantha is in Kindergarten, that's insane!
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