...there's no place like home.
I'm home now, and despite my efforts, I don't know much more.
The Star Tribune reports that neither the perpetrator, nor the victim actually lived in my building, both were visiting a mutal friend here in the building. The St. Paul police identified the victim, and have the suspect in custody.
I called the St. Paul police department to find out which floor, apartment, etc it happened on. Their response was: ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring. I never got an answer. No answering machine, nothing. I plan on calling again tomorrow.
Our plan was for both of us, (nick and I) to stay here last night, so I wouldn't be spending my first night here alone, but because I wanted to have dinner at my mom's house, we ended up staying in Burnsville.
I came home tonight around 6:30. I came straight up to my apartment, with no detours, came inside, and immediately threw all the locks on my door. I'm sitting in my living room, trying to relax by my serene Christmas tree, but I'm a little jittery. I'm afraid to be in my bedroom, because I feel trapped in there.
I shouldn't be this weird about this. Neither of the men live/d in my building. The men knew each other, it wasn't random, so I probably have nothing to worry about. I'm safe.
But I don't feel safe. I feel as if I'm sitting on what I thought was a rock in the middle of the northern Mississippi, but it turns out I'm adrift on a piece of wood. I thought I was secure, but I'm not. My sense of personal safety has been compromised, and that's not fair.
My lease is up January 31st, and I have to decide by December 1st if I'm going to renew my lease. I'm planning on calling my management company and seeing if they have anything to say about it, and perhaps ask for an extra week to give notice. I have an amazing apartment, and I don't really want to move, but if I can't feel safe (no matter if it really is safe) I'll have to leave.
So if anyone hears of a cheap, 2 bedroom apartment, with laundry in unit, in St. Paul, let me know. . . (I've looked around on Craigslist and stuff, and haven't found anything)
I hate that I have to be practical about this, when really, all I want to do is be held and felt sorry for. And I didn't even know the guy, or the people in my building who did.
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6 comments:
You know, I had a very similar situation happen to me when I first moved here. About six months after I moved, a man shot himself in our apartment complex. My roommate tried to save him, and I was on the phone with 911 basically watching him die. I remember that I couldn't sleep for like three months after that. I didn't know him, and it had nothing to do with me, but I was feeling rather jittery for a long, long time. If I remember correctly, that was when I started spending a lot of time at Courtney's apartment.
I know that you might not want to move, but in this case... it could be the best thing for you. If you wanna talk about it... you know where I am.
I'm thinking about you.
Just take it one day at a time. It's bound to get less weird as time goes on.
Oh, and I love the new look. It's way easier to read than the old one.
Scary! Hope you either find another place or start feeling more comfortable soon.
I got a hold of the police department, and it was on the 3rd floor, I'm on 2nd, and for some reason, knowing where it was makes me feel a million times better, and I don't think I'll move.
Oh good, I'm so glad you feel better.
Awwww, Pseudo-hug :)
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